The Elder Party Platform
Why Vote Cthulhu?
On Homeland Security:
Who would mess with Cthulhu? 'nuff said.
On Foreign Policy:
Our candidate routinely meets with an asian special interest group called the "Tcho tcho". The word "leng" has been heard mentioned many times, and that's the chinese word for "cool"!!
On Mental Health:
Many of you have asked: "What Would Cthulhu Do, if voted into office?" The anwser is: Drive Everyone Mad and Eat Them...
On the Economy and the Environment:
Great Cthulhu has solutions for unemployment and protecting the environment, for after Cthulhu eats half the world's population there will be plenty of job openings and urban sprawl will be a thing of the past.