Most folks will tell you that nicotine only reached Europe after that old scoundrel Sir Walter Raleigh imported the idea of smoking to the Old World. (Technically, Europe is not older than the Americas, but we’ll let that one hang there for the rest of the essay. We expect to be forgiven for our laziness.) Well, it may probably have been Raleigh’s employee Thomas Hariot, since Raleigh himself never even set foot in America… at least not by boat. (I’ll get back to that.) However, since we have Egyptian and even German corpses with nicotine in their tissues from nearly two thousand years before Columbus was an itch in his daddy’s pants, we find ourselves forced to confront the possibility that there was, in fact, some form of transatlantic contact between Europe and Africa and the Americas stretching back to the times before Christ. And since there’s hashish in them there corpses, we also find ourselves considering the involvement of our favorite Ismaili assassins, the hashishin, and where there’s hashishin, can the Knight’s Templar be far behind? Well, sure, they could be. However, since I’m not fond of playing by the rules, I have to suspect they won’t be. Speculating on Egyptian mummies loaded with cocaine and nicotine and hashish, and Peruvian mummies with the same, necessarily leads us to Roanoke Island.
